Pitfalls of online dating

Hello again loyal Blog readers!

Just a quick post today about online dating. I can't say I'm the most experienced at this method of meeting the opposite sex but I have tried it and I know many others who have done plenty of people shopping online. I've also read about other peoples experiences so I will use the knowledge I do have to form an opinion here.

I personally am not the biggest fan of online dating/personals. One of the reasons may be because of the lack of success I've had, not that I've been persistent or been doing it long term so maybe I shouldn't rush to judgment but I didn't enjoy the experience none the less.

Pitfall 1: The guy to girl ratio on most of these sites is not in the guys favor, AT ALL! Some sites I've found that its about 7 guys to 1 girl. I personally would like a little bit better odds than that. Again, I haven't been to every site in the world but from my limited research and experience, this has been the case. This results in the girls having an over abundance of single guys and maybe even a few already married guys emailing them. Its impossible for a girl to go on 37 dates from the 37 different guys that sent her a message that week. This makes it tough for a girl to make a decision, I mean sure, she will have plenty of options but sometimes that can be stressful and pressure filled situation as well.

Pitfall 2: False Advertising. Ya know when you see a television commercial for a fast food joint and the burger looks so juicy, the lettuce is fresh and crispy, the tomato is flawless, the bun shiny etc. Then when you go to the fast food place in person, it doesn't quite look like it did on T.V? well that can be said for many people that online date. I've had many people tell me stories about their disappointments when they actually meet the person in real life, they look much better ie different in the picture than in real life. It sucks knowing you wasted all that time emailing, planning a date etc only to find out you been sorta scammed. I don't understand why a person can't just be honest and produce recent, accurate and good quality photos.

Pitfall 3: This costs money! I know there are some free sites out there but these are even worse, full of people that don't take meeting someone seriously, its full of people just out for attention, fake profiles, etc. The better sites that have actually have some quality people on them cost money, not a lot of money but still, if you're investing time and money into something and not seeing results, or the type of results you desire, then you will feel cheated and bitter. That's just the way it goes.

Now of course, there can be counter arguments to all of this. There are plenty of people that have had great success and have found love, marriage etc because of online dating so I won't hate on it too much. I think it all depends on the person and what they are looking for. Online can work well for someone that truly knows what they want. For example, a guy that wants to have a wife and kids can just search for a women who wants a husband and kids and its all laid out at the start. Same thing for a guy looking for casual no strings, he just look at profile for a women that's into the same thing. Online is good for people are may be a bit too shy and introverted in person and feel more comfortable at home interacting via computer screen but my advice to someone like that would be to get your shyness/social anxiety fixed. If you're an older person who doesn't enjoy going out much, I guess online dating is a viable option.

For me personally, I like to go out and socialize. I work with the public every day. I have hobbies and different social circles that I'm constantly meeting people through. I enjoy bars and lounges, these aren't the greatest place to meet your mate either, in fact, it can be challenging but that's another topic. At least in the bar scene, the ratio is a bit better and you know what the person is like instead of relying on a picture. You also get a better feel for their personality when you interact live in person.

The best way to meet people if you're looking for relationships is to find hobbies, classes, groups where you will meet like minded people. Yoga, dance, foriegn language, cooking classes are all great options. If you just wanna have fun and date casually, one night stands, etc, then bars are a good place for that. You just won't generally find the most mature, well adjusted and stable people in these places so everything has its advantages and disadvantages. If you're insistent on using internet dating but finding poor results, there is good advice online about how to make a better profile, take better pictures, increase response rates, how to set up dates etc.


So there ya have it! my take on the whole online dating thing, works great for some, not so great for others so just get out there are experiment to find what works for you and then stick with that.
Later ya'll!

Denny

Rock and Roll interviews

I found this gem of an interview with Iggy Pop when he was a guest on the Tom Snyder show in 1980. Of course I wouldn't remember this since I was barely two years old when it came out but I love things like Youtube because you can see how certain things were done back then.

I was always a huge fan of old rock music, also like the old school punk and new wave stuff. One of the bands that came out of that was The Stooges and they are mostly known for their charismatic front man James Osterberg AKA Iggy POP.

The purpose of showing this interview is to show contrast between how many interviews sounded back then and how they have been presented in recent history. Have a watch...



I just find these interviews way more interesting then anything I see today. I know its not always the band's fault. The industry has changed, media has changed, etc but with that said, most band interviews in today's world are dull, bland and boring. I think it might be the record companies taking control of what they want the artists to say in interviews. Its always the same stuff I find, every interview is just a shameless plug for an upcoming tour or album. The bands all have fashion consultants and wear similar clothing and say very similar shit. Rock has become dull, predictable, download-able and just too mediocre.

The above interview really displays the personality of the performer. Its interesting, unpredictable and somehow seems more real. What happened to the mystery, the danger, the swagger of sex, drugs and rock n roll? Wheres the compelling, fascinating and crazy front men of rock n roll these days? I'm sure there may be a few but the market is mainly saturated with bland, cookie cutter performers who all say the same stuff like "umm yeah, we really worked hard on our new record" guess what? no one cares! say something interesting or controversial! show some balls! or at least some personality, Iggy had no problem expressing himself, what the hell happened? Other performers of the past that come to mind are Jim Morrison, John Lennon Johnny Rotten and Axl Rose. Love or hate these guys, there is no denying they did NOT give a boring interview.

Denny

Such thing as a soul mate?

My answer, NO! Its not at all a negative statement, at least not in my opinion. Many people truly believe in soul mates and its because of that belief that it allows them to rationalize why they are with someone. I think its great when two people are compatible and share life and love but it wasn't some predetermined magical force that brought them together. It would be pretty awesome if that were the case, but that's just not reality.

These days especially, the dating scene is very challenging, not really in terms of going out on dates but in terms of finding that someone whom you connect strongly with on multiple levels. meaning, sexual, intellectual, values, beliefs and lifestyle. Someone asked me recently what I really wanted in a long term mate. My answer was actually very simple, I said something like "Someone who I'm extremely attracted to and have that person be my partner in crime, someone that I can laugh with at how absurd the world really is"

Notice how I didn't mention anything too specific like "she must be into hockey" I just mentioned a core value of not taking life too seriously, that combined with a physical connection would have the makings of potential relationship. Thats it! I think people backwards rationalize things. They think, wow! this person loves the same movies as me, it must be true love, she's my soul mate!. When the truth is, it was something else that caused the emotions of attraction.

I used to be kinda jaded when it came to women and dating. I was always like "whatever, chicks are retarded, they just want what they can't have. They don't want a nice guy, they date jerks. They have no idea what they want. They use sex to get things from men, etc. These beliefs are very counter productive and mostly untrue. I learned things are not that way at all even though a lot guys would disagree with me. Its important to assume the best in people and keep an open mind. Things are not always as they seem. I know, I'm kind of off topic here but its worth mentioning these thoughts.

Back to the soul mate thing. The truth is people are together for different reasons and there are different definitions of what a soul mate really is. Is is as simple as the joining of souls? what does that even mean? lol. Is it possible to have more than one soul mate? hmmm? Why not just be happy with finding someone and enjoying the moments together, whether its short term or long term? Can it really be healthy to be actively searching for your soul mate? I think it would be that much harder on a person emotionally if they were searching for a soul mate and ended up never finding one.

I'm just not a fan of that idealistic fairy tail romance stuff. I'm a fan of connection, positive emotions, dealing with challenges, avoiding drama, good sex and fun experiences. If you have all that, does it really matter if that person is your "soul mate"?

With the world the way it is, the everyday challenges, the economy, the complexities of the dating scene, the high divorce rates, etc. I think its best to not take this idealistic soul mate thing too seriously. Don't worry about finding the perfect match. Chances are, the perfect match doesn't exist unless you're extremely lucky. In that case, buy a lottery ticket! Other than that, do as Kat Williams says and "Enjoy your motha fucken life!...life is fucken short, enjoy that shit!"

Denny

I'm just not that into television

I sometimes feel left out when people discuss their favorite television shows for the simple fact that I don't really watch much of it, unless of course they are talking about old sitcoms from the 80's. I watched a lot of that stuff as a child and I sometimes impress people with my knowledge of the older stuff but I haven't really been into shows for over 15 years now.

I kinda know whats popular out there, LOST, DEXTER, GREY'S ANATOMY, HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, and a zillion others, not to mention all the "Reality" shows. I don't think I have seen a single episode of any of these current popular shows. Recently though, I have found a comedy that I really like called Curb Your Enthusiasm. It makes sense since I was a Seinfeld fan back in the day which of course was created by Larry David.

Usually when I'm in front of the tube I'm watching sports, news, documentaries and movies. For whatever reason, I just never got the patience or interest to follow a show. I haven't had a show hook me in emotionally so a point that I would have to tune in consistently.

I was also always a big movie fan and maybe the movie experience doesn't compare to watching a T.V show. Maybe its also because there are so many shows out there and the market is saturated just as the music business is. I find it more interesting to now a day's to go online and watch things that interest me on Youtube or similar sites.

I find T.V to be a bit bland since its limited to broadcasting standards. I'm thinking about getting HBO so at least I can maybe get into some uncensored shows. Another reason might be that I absolutely HATE commercials, I'm thinking of doing a Blog post where I spill a huge Peter North sized load of hate on how much commercials annoy me. I think I may have a short attention span or my standards of being entertained are high and most shows just don't cut the mustard especially "Reality" shows like Survivor. I would rather take a paint brush, dip into some white latex house paint, smear it on the wall and sit there for an hour watching it dry.

Thanks again for reading and if you have any suggestions for shows that you think are actually good, let me know and I will check em out.

Peace out

Denny

Red White And Gold!!: Canada Rules Hockey!

Hey folks, Its been a while since I wrote anything on the Blog but it's mostly because of the 2010 Winter Olympics which were held in my home country of Canada. I been watching various events of interest and I'm proud of the results in general and pleased that Canada won a record 14 gold medals this time. There is one event in particular that had my interest more than any other and that of course was the Men"s Hockey.

Although I was born in Croatia I still grew up here in the great white north playing hockey on frozen ponds and hundreds of barn rinks in dozens of hick towns all over this country. I always had a love for the game and been playing since the age of 6. I'm glad my parents gave me the chance to play for so many years and I was lucky to play at a competitive level for most of that time. I learned so much about the game, got to create great memories, make friends, travel, learn about discipline, friendship and sportsmanship. I learned many life lessons just through playing hockey and I would encourage any parent out there to support their kids if they are interested in sports.

I guess that's why seeing Canada win gold in the Olympics was a special thing for me. Our country provides a great opportunity for kids to play this great game. I believe Canadian hockey players (most of them) symbolize class, hard work, dedication and talent and winning Gold again proved to the world Canada is back on that throne.

The tournament itself was entertaining and we witnessed some great displays of skill. The final gold medal game was like something out of a Hollywood movie. So many twists and turns, edge of your seat thrills and a story book ending when Canada's star player scores the winning goal in overtime to win the gold medal as 80% of the country jumped out of their seats. Amazing.

Cheers to a job well done boys!

Denny

10 reasons why being a guy is awesome

I feel we should live with a sense of appreciation of not only the little things but the big and often overlooked parts of our lives. For example an appreciation of our gender. No disrespect to the females of this world but as a male I find there are certain things about our gender that are pretty sweet! Of course being female has its advantages but for this blog entry its all about the guys. So in no particular order, here's a list of 10 things I like about being a dude.

10.)Having a penis. I don't know how to describe how awesome it is, but one word that comes to mind is glorious!

9.) More employment opportunities. I know I know, this is changing, women have more opportunity now and things keep evolving but the reality is that men are still favored in many industries over women.

8.) Not having a period. Just seems like an annoying issue to deal with.

7.) Not getting pregnant. Labor pains, morning sickness, weight gain, not to mention squeezing a a baseball through an opening the size of a straw. Thanks ladies for looking after that one.

6.) We don't have to shave our pits and legs. Its completely acceptable for guys to have hair in certain areas. For females, not so much.....its a lot of work being female apparently.

5.) Its easier for guys to get away with saying stupid shit. Boys will be boys, that's our excuse. Women are judged more harshly when it comes to immature behavior.

4.) Takes us a fraction of the time to get ready to go out. When was the last time a man spent 3 hours doing his hair before leaving the house? enough said!

3.) We can pee standing up. This just makes it easier for us to "go" anywhere on short notice

2.) We don't have to deal with the same societal conditioning's and stereotypes. Women are pressured and conditioned by society to not appear sexually easy or slutty. Women have to watch out for the reputations because of how the rest of the world may judge them. Women are very based on their relationships with people and its important they are viewed in a positive way.

1.) Having a penis! No explanation needed! This deserves another mention.

Thanks for reading and be proud of your gender! celebrate our differences and appreciate your advantages whether you're male or female

Denny

Travel:The Hostel Experience

I find travel to be a very rewarding experience for many reasons. Breaking out of your comfort zone can be a healthy thing. Seeing places and things that interest you that you may have only seen on T.V or read about in books. Relaxing and taking a break from the usual grind, recharging your internal batteries, etc, all of these are great benefits.

One benefit that is sometimes overlooked is when you travel, you can meet new and interesting people. To me, this is a fun thing to do especially when you meet people from other countries and cultures. It can be a neat learning experience and who knows, sometimes you can make a friend for life. Its easy to stay in touch these days with the internet and other high tech gadgets being abundant.

From my experience, the easiest way to meet and hang out with new people from different parts of the world is to stay in hostels. Please don't associate hostels with that horrible movie of the same name, its nothing like that. I find it amazing that so many people ask me about questions like "wow, how are you able to travel alone in multiple countries?" "Why do you travel alone?" "Where do you stay?" Its simple really, the answer is HOSTELS! Many people don't even know what a hostel really is.

The way I see it, there are a few different types of vacations. The most common one is probably the sit on a beach with your spouse, family or a close friend, stay a hotel/resort. This is usually a very relaxing method, you sometimes stay in the same place for a week or two, you don't move around much, you enjoy the beach, the cocktails and get plenty of rest in comfy hotel room. You wouldn't typically experience or see that much on a vacation like this. You probably wouldn't meet that many new people either. The other type of holiday or vacation is one where you travel around and stay hostels. This is VERY common with travel through Europe. This is not exactly the most relaxing experience but it can be exciting and rewarding. When you travel Europe and stay in hostels, be prepared to do a lot of walking, the days will be long, sleep may be scarce at times, activity will be abundant. When you travel multiple countries, it can sometimes feel like a lot of work. You have to pack and unpack, get on and off trains, buses, planes, change time zones, currencies, languages, environments, friends, etc....Its a head trip sometimes. On my last trip I visited 5 countries in just under a month and it got exhausting at times.

Hostels themselves these days have gotten a lot better than say 5-10 years ago. I think they have gotten popular for economic reasons but the quality keeps improving and they are becoming a suitable alternative to hotels. Hostels use to be a very stripped down facility, just a basic bed or cot and you would have to provide linen. There were no laundry facilities, no television, no food, it was just a place to sleep for back packers. Now a days, its amazing. These hostels have laundry service, they provide linen, luggage storage, television, DVD movies, high speed internet, wireless internet, phones, free breakfast, 24 hour reception etc. Some hostels even have card access for the rooms like hotels do. They are becoming almost like hotels but for a fraction of the cost. I also find more and more hostels have their own bar and or restaurant so you can eat, drink, party and sleep in the same building sometimes.

Of course hostels are not for everyone. If you want to be alone in silence and get large amounts of sleep and eat gourmet overpriced food, watch hotel porn, then hostels probably aren't for you. In hostels you will most likely be sharing a room, its a dorm type concept so there are usually anywhere from 4-12 beds in a dorm room. Some hostels have private rooms as well but they are usually twice the cost. Every hostel is a bit different since they are usually independently owned and run, some have stricter rules such a curfews while others pretty are resigned to anarchy lol!
You just have to do the research and find out which hostel is the right one for you.

The coolest thing about a hostel besides the price is the fact that its a place to meet fellow travelers from around the world. Its easy since you already have something in common with them. They are usually friendly and outgoing and are looking for people to hang out with as well. Some worry about the other guests and if they are trust worthy. I have stayed in about 10 hostels now and have never had any issues with my personaly property of privacy being violated. Travelers are typically respectful of other travelers. They wanna have a positive experience just as you do. With that said, its still wise to take precautions such as having a money belt, locks on your luggage and renting lockers to keep your valuables in such as money, passport, etc.

Another disadvantage is the sharing of rooms. Sometimes you get that loud snoring guy or that tossy/turny guy guy in the bunk above you. Theres also that situation where you have to catch a train at 7am but two drunk room mates stumble in at 5am after a night of clubbing. These are just things you have to deal with, its not that big of a deal or deterrent. What usually happens in hostels is, you check in and meet your fellow travelers who are staying in your room. Its fun to talk about the differences of your respecting countries, share stories, tips and experiences. During the day, you would do your site seeing and touristy things. Then you would come back to the hostel, shower, eat, take a nap, change clothes, whatever. At night you would typically meet up with your new friends and go out and experience the nightlife of whichever city you happen to be in and believe me there's plenty of nightlife in places like Amsterdam, London, Berlin, Prague, Budapest and many others. Many hostels offer pub crawls and give you deals for certain venues, no cover charge, drink specials etc. Hostels are usually filled with younger people 18-30 although most don't have age limits so I have seen older people as well. Since its mainly younger people and students, pubs, nightclubs, and live music venues are the most popular.

So there you have it, my take on hostels. I do enjoy staying in them and I love that type of travel.
To see some samples of hostels, there are many great sites like www.hostelworld.com.

Thanks for reading

Denny